Master Catastrophizer

Everything Isn't Terrible

I’ve always been the type to plan for the future. Planning for your future can be a double-edged sword. On the positive side, it’s always made me a very ambitious person. But with great ambition can come great anxiety.

My anxiety manifested itself pretty early. I had a hard time learning to read and write, so I worked as hard as I could to overcome that hurdle. With each passing academic year, I would put in more work to excel more. But it was never enough. I craved the approval of authority figures so I decided to overfunction.

Even with all this planning for the future, I became a master catastrophizer. If a friend at school didn’t answer my call to hang out, I was a total loser. If I failed this test, then my academic career was ruined. If I got an A- rather than an A, I was clearly not performing well enough. Catastrophes lurked around every corner; I was perceptive enough to plan for these disasters. At least that’s what I told myself.

This summer my body tried to tell me to slow down with the overfunctioning. I didn’t need to garden for hours in the hot sun and then do all the laundry by myself. I could ask for help and delegate. And I was eventually forced to delegate with my hospital stay. But I’ve been reading and reworking a lot of my life.

Everything isn’t Terrible made me laugh at times. After chuckling at the Harry Potter references, I paused to interrogate my “true self” versus my “pseudo self.” I’m realizing that many of us (particularly online) portray a “pseudo self” to cope with our collective anxiety. You never post anything too controversial for fear of rocking the boat. You argue with people in the comment section even though you know you should never read the comment section. If you saw your child or loved one pick the same fight in real life, you would cringe and want to escape. Again, don’t read the comments. Just don’t.

Everything isn’t Terrible challenged my thinking on how anxiety manifests in our lives. On some level, we are all products of our family systems. Bowen Theory, the theory which the author uses to explain how to reduce our anxiety, clicked for me. We are all extensions of the first system we interacted with in our lives: our families.

I love my family. But every family has secrets and challenges. Why would we not examine the earliest people who socialized us? These people offer insight into how we interact with our romantic partners, our coworkers, and even strangers on the internet.

It’s time to interrupt the anxiety and focus on you. This master catastrophizer is ready to live a better, less anxious life! If you want a great read to help live a richer, fuller life based on your values, then check out Everything isn’t Terrible!